In nowadays’s society, specifically in Nigeria, courting is just like test using a vehicle in which casual seekers are just out for a sequence of amusing, dedication-unfastened, leisure adventures.
The Modern Approach to Dating.
Modern dating was successfully launched all through the sexual revolution and spiritual mayhem of the Sixties and most of the standards of biblical dating (courtship) hastily became less outstanding and less crucial in our society. The exercise of courtship presented structure which allowed each parties to get to realize each different earlier than encountering emotional and bodily entanglements.
"Culturally speaking, dating has now become just something you do if you’re single and of age."
Culturally speaking, relationship has now end up simply something you do in case you’re unmarried and of age. While many are in it just for the amusing and bodily, now not all people is so laid-lower back approximately it. Some are desperately in search of to locate their “soul mate” or a person whom they accept as true with will make them “glad” and could stop at not anything until they’ve in the end secured their match.
The Internet gives a smorgasbord of relationship sites for folks who are searching for to discover their “vast (or no longer so sizable) other” to connect to on a few level. If you Google the phrase “matchmaker” you may get a few 10 million effects, consisting of many focused to “Christians.” If you input “relationship,” your options increase to extra than 400 million!
Unfortunately, survey after survey shows that lots of folks who say they may be Christian are following in this route right together with the loads. Certainly, the Lord is not pleased, but alternatively deeply grieved, by means of the casual, pressure-by means of dating scene that professing Christians are immersed in and with which they may be reputedly pretty comfy.
The Biblical Approach to Dating.
A younger unmarried man who preferred one day to be married got here to our current Annual Conference and asked approximately the biblical view of courting, courtship and locating a spouse. He shared that lots of his professing Christian pals and friends had already gotten married and had played the courting recreation till they “hit the jackpot” and located their partner. I turned into capable of share with him that, as believers, we need to be cautious now not to include the arena’s thoughts and strategies for dating and/or locating a partner even though multitudes around us are doing so.The Bible gives authoritative steerage for any honest, conscientious believer approximately how to fine glorify the Lord in every place of our lives. Second Timothy 3:16-17 says: “All Scripture is given by using thought of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for guidance in righteousness, that the man of God can be entire, thoroughly ready for every accurate work.” Consequently, single Christians have to look to the all-enough Word of God to find out how excellent to glorify Him even on this location of his or her life.
"Isn’t our calling as single Christians all about loving God and loving others? Shouldn’t we have the mind of Christ even when it comes to dating?"
The contemporary dating scene presents endless possibilities to satisfy participants of the alternative sex—who may additionally or might not be a capacity marriage associate. The problem is, it is overwhelmingly driven via natural lust and self-centeredness and is regularly emotionally, bodily and spiritually damaging to at least one or each parties.
So when you study it through the lens of Scripture, the simple philosophy of modern courting is entirely unbiblical in that it’s especially about “gambling the field” to discover “what one wishes” in a spouse, looking to “meet all my wishes and dreams,” and “locating the proper individual for me.” Where is the Lord in all this?
Isn’t our calling as single Christians all approximately loving God and loving others? Shouldn’t we have the mind of Christ even in relation to relationship? “Let nothing be carried out via selfish ambition or conceit, however in lowliness of mind allow every esteem others better than himself. Let each of you appearance out no longer handiest for his very own pursuits, but additionally for the pursuits of others. Let this mind be in you which of them changed into additionally in Christ Jesus…” (Philippians 2:3-5)
Date with Prayer.
It’s very important to seek the Lord concerning a potential spouse to avoid playing the dangerous, often futile, dating game and following the corrupt, self-centered desires of one’s heart that are contrary to God’s will. One should ask for much grace, wisdom and patience to meet another single, godly person of the opposite sex. A love for Jesus and a desire to live in accordance to God’s will must be number one from the get-go.
When choosing a spouse, earnest Christians should consider these two passages of Scripture among others which stress how important it is for any two Christians to be on the same page spiritually:
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?” (Amos 3:3)
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14)
Date with Purpose.
To avoid getting into an ungodly trap or becoming a stumbling block to one another, a single man and woman must also be purposeful from the onset. This will serve as a guidepost to clearly establish the seriousness of their friendship and the level of their commitment to prayerfully seek and discover God’s will for possible marriage in the future. Being accountable and submitting to godly, parental guidance (depending on one’s age, of course) and/or to one’s spiritual leaders will positively impact any purposeful relationship.A telling question we Christians must ask ourselves over and over is, “what is my motive” in doing this or that? Is my purpose to please and glorify God by serving others, or is my motive to get something for myself? Is my interest in dating to have fun and be entertained, or is it to glorify God and serve others? Even if you are seeking your “soul mate” and someone you could marry, is your purpose more to find companionship, physical and emotional fulfillment, and social acceptance, or is it to more so to serve and glorify the Lord?
Date with Purity.
Establishing good physical and emotional boundaries will help both parties maintain the utmost level of purity. First Timothy 5:2 instructs men to treat single women as sisters in Christ, “with absolute purity.” In Paul’s letter to the Romans, he instructs believers to behave decently, to avoid sexual immorality, to be clothed with the Lord Jesus Christ and to not make any provision for the flesh to fulfill its lusts. (Romans 13:13-14).
The Lord promises “…seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33) In Psalms 37:4 He says, “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Be encouraged, beloved, the Lord is not stingy but rather desires that you be filled to overflowing. Simply believe Him for this, and you will see the Lord bless you in ways you could never think or imagine.
Copyright © 2016 by Pure Life Ministries.